Why do I facepalm more than most people on a given day. Its pretty simple really, I am tech-support.
Here is a list of 5 typical calls that I have recently received. These have not been embellished in any way.
Me > How can I help you?
Caller > I CAN'T LOGON!
Me > What are you trying to logon to?
Caller > ANYTHING!
Me > Is there a specific program you are using (we use hundreds)
Caller > THE WHOLE SYSTEM!
Me > Is it Windows your trying to logon to?
Caller > I DONT KNOW!
Me > How can I help you?
Caller > It is raining on my desk.
Me > Excuse me?
Caller > IT IS RAINING ON MY DESK!
Me > Are you on a laptop outside?
Caller > NO! I am at my desk and water is coming from the ceiling.
Me > Uh, you are going to need to call engineering.
Caller > (Sarcastically) Well you are sure a lot of help!
Me > How can I help you?
Caller > I am not able to change my password?
Me > What error is it giving you?
Caller > Password must not contain word found in the dictionary, but I have a dictionary open right now and I don’t see this word.
Me > Is it possible there is a smaller word within the word you are using?
Caller > No, it is “courtne1”
Me > So the word “court” is in that password
Caller > (pause)…….Smartass
Trying to setup someones home VPN access
Me > What type of internet do you have?
Caller > Internet Explorer.
Me > Oh sorry, I meant what type like your ISP.
Caller > Modem
Me > What type of Modem is it?
Caller > Black
Me > (after a little chuckle) is it plugged into a phone cord or a coaxial cable? Like the kind you plug into your tv.
Caller > Its plugged into the wall
Me > How can I help you?
Caller > My email isn’t working.
Me > Ok what seems to be the problem with it?
Caller > I already said, my email isn’t working!
Me > Ok, so is it not sending email, receiving email, or is it not opening your mail?
Caller > Its not sending email. I really don’t have time for this.
Me > I am here to help you out, Does it say ‘connected’ at the lower right hand of the screen?
Caller > I don’t know, this isn’t my job! It’s yours, so fix it!
Me > That’s what I’m trying to do. I just need some information so I can find out what’s wrong, so I just need you to answer a couple questions.
Caller > No, that’s not what I get paid to do. I am an accountant, I’m not supposed to know how to use a computer!
