A day in the life of Jon

My day can mostly be described in one word, "Facepalm". What is a facepalm you ask? It's something I think I do much more frequently then most people. Here is a picture of a classic facepalm....

Why do I facepalm more than most people on a given day. Its pretty simple really, I am tech-support.

Here is a list of 5 typical calls that I have recently received. These have not been embellished in any way.

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > I CAN'T LOGON!
Me > What are you trying to logon to?
Caller > ANYTHING!
Me > Is there a specific program you are using (we use hundreds)
Caller > THE WHOLE SYSTEM!
Me > Is it Windows your trying to logon to?
Caller > I DONT KNOW!

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > It is raining on my desk.
Me > Excuse me?
Caller > IT IS RAINING ON MY DESK!
Me > Are you on a laptop outside?
Caller > NO! I am at my desk and water is coming from the ceiling.
Me > Uh, you are going to need to call engineering.
Caller > (Sarcastically) Well you are sure a lot of help!

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > I am not able to change my password?
Me > What error is it giving you?
Caller > Password must not contain word found in the dictionary, but I have a dictionary open right now and I don’t see this word.
Me > Is it possible there is a smaller word within the word you are using?
Caller > No, it is “courtne1”
Me > So the word “court” is in that password
Caller > (pause)…….Smartass


Trying to setup someones home VPN access
Me > What type of internet do you have?
Caller > Internet Explorer.
Me > Oh sorry, I meant what type like your ISP.
Caller > Modem
Me > What type of Modem is it?
Caller > Black
Me > (after a little chuckle) is it plugged into a phone cord or a coaxial cable? Like the kind you plug into your tv.
Caller > Its plugged into the wall

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > My email isn’t working.
Me > Ok what seems to be the problem with it?
Caller > I already said, my email isn’t working!
Me > Ok, so is it not sending email, receiving email, or is it not opening your mail?
Caller > Its not sending email. I really don’t have time for this.
Me > I am here to help you out, Does it say ‘connected’ at the lower right hand of the screen?
Caller > I don’t know, this isn’t my job! It’s yours, so fix it!
Me > That’s what I’m trying to do. I just need some information so I can find out what’s wrong, so I just need you to answer a couple questions.
Caller > No, that’s not what I get paid to do. I am an accountant, I’m not supposed to know how to use a computer!

A Puppy or 6 Years Old?

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized this the other day when I was sitting in my fort.

I haven't decided what I act like more, a puppy or a 6 year old. I decided to list out ways in which I act like both to decide which I am more like.

Ways I act like a 6 year old:
* My daily lunch consists of Easy Mac and a Snack Pack
* I still sit cross legged, even on my work chair. I then stand up to find that my legs are asleep so I look like Frankenstein when I walk
* I think looking like Frankenstein when I walk is cool
* My favorite food is cereal

Ways I act like a puppy:
* Someone at work was bouncing a ball and I immediately got very excited
* I saw a huge flock (like 113) geese outside and I really wanted to run and chase them
* I once ate dog food
* I forget things that you just barely told me
* Ali says that she is still training me

Well I can't decide which one I act more like, but I do have 2 epic Puppy videos for your enjoyment. 1st one is my new Prozac, I decided if I am ever sad that I will just watch it and I know it will cheer me up. The second is the puppy vs a hair brush, in which the hair brush delivers a knock out blow at the end...

Christmas decorations

So Ali did a great job getting our Christmas decorations up this year. Many of them she made. She would like to thank my mom for having me help her put up ornaments on the tree ever year because I dominate at ornament placing :)

Are you ever sick of hearing this?

kid: "I wanna play rockband!"

parent: "You need to help put up Christmas lights!"

kid: "But I wanna play!"

parent: "You can when you are done helping with the lights!"

For real this is awesome....

Underwear for Christmas

So earlier this week I posted a video about Happy Kids with the "Best_Christmas_Present_Ever!", now here is a video of quite possibly the "worst Christmas present ever." I hope that one day I will have a kid this awesome. Look how excited he is to get new underwear :)

Wii for Christmas

Last year for Christmas we were lucky enough to get a Nintendo Wii, I guess we weren't the only lucky ones.

And seriously, if you aren't strong enough to rip open the wrapping paper when you are 10, you don't deserve the gift. I would revoke this from my child until he built up enough muscle to unwrap it himself.


I seriously think Nintendo should use some of these for a commercial. Some of them are just brilliant reactions.

Watch out Ed Hardy!

It has been a long time since I designed my last t-shirt (Chicks Hate Me). But I think my new designs could give it a run for its money.

"Who will not wear the ribbon!?"

Dont forget about Aids. I gave my ribbon to my storm trooper action figures for an early Christmas gift since its getting cold out.

I love demotivational posters :)

Halloween

So Halloween is a funny thing these days. Sometimes you dress up as your favorite Hero, other times you dress up as something that is scary. I decided this year to pull them both off. I shaved most my head and went as my favorite hero, and the scariest thing I could think of......Clem.
You think I pulled it off?

I invented a phrase

PHONE FACEOFF!

Ok so I actually invented this phrase several years ago but it never caught on like I hoped it would. It is called "The Phone Faceoff" and no, it is not about who's phone is better.

The phone faceoff is simple. When you call someone and you hear that beep before the ring that lets you know that they are on the other line, the phone faceoff begins. Now it is really simple, either you lose or win the phone faceoff, there are no ties. If the person answers your call even though they were on the other line, you win! If they let your call go to voice mail you lose!

You can also be the judge of who wins and who loses when someone calls you and you are on the other line!

So lets spread the word people! PHONE FACEOFF!

Important Quiz time

I found this site randomly and the first one made me laugh really hard so I decided to take it and a couple others.
I wonder if Cosmo Kramer took this test?
18


I've always prided myself on my geography skills so I took this one.

49


I'd be curious how high Jer scores on this one.

40% Geek

Tree House!

I have always had a fascination with tree houses. It started at a young age while searching for good carpet to put in my buddies tree house and has continued into my "adulthood".
That is right folks it is 90 feet high and 11 stories. Who wants to read some Xmen magazines?

For the easily amused like me

Captain

I decided today that I am Captain of the Internets. My Title will now be Captain Jon or just "My Captain"; I will not respond to anything else.
That is all.

Why are printers so annoying?

Spider

This weekend we found a Black Widow spider (seriously) on our porch. I thought that maybe I could keep him around to ward off unwanted visitors and home teachers. He would be my bouncer and I could call him Tony. But Ali convinced me that it might not be a good idea, so we euthanized him instead.

MRI Results

So I said that when the Dr. came back and told me that my brain was fine and normal that I would get it in writing so I could post it for all the world to see.

Well here is the short version of what the results said....

.......Unremarkable?!?! Can you at least say that my brain is normal? Better yet that my brain is awesome?! Why unremarkable, Dr's are such pessimists.

Tech support cheat sheet

Thankful

Just wanted to say that I am so thankful that my dad never saw this sign.

Life can be confusing

When in doubt just run into it it works sometimes....

Broken-in

Well we have officially "Broken-in" our house. Denver's first pre-season game was on Friday and even though I was a little disappointed in the game, I was not disappointed in how we watched it.

55" high def is the only way I will watch football from now on. I can't wait until the regular season to watch our teams play.

It was also awesome because once it started getting late and Ali was feeling sleepy, we pulled over one of our new Lovesacs so she could fall asleep.

To go along with "breaking things in" I have also broken in our yard....well sort of. I have already killed a tree anyway. I'm not sure if I got out of hand with our Round-Up (not likely as I am not ever the type to be over-eager in my weed killing activities) or if its roots were eaten by some creatures (the obvious answer). Farewell tree, you will be missed but happily replaced with some fresh sod. If anyone is wondering, this is (was) the tree:

House post coming up....

But not ready to post about it quite yet. Need to get some good "after pics" :)
In the meantime I leave you with a clip from an actor that I know Clem likes, John C. Reily
Enjoy....

Is this real life?

When I got my wisdom teeth out I remembered that I would say everything that came into my mind. It can be kind of a scary thing, especially when you are in the car with your dad and cursing about how thirsty you are....Anyways this awesome video reminded me of that experience. Enjoy.

January

I realize that I really can't complain about nobody looking at my blog when I never write in it. I mean who the heck wants to look at the same blog every time they go there? Not me. I don't write simply because I am not that interesting and I don't have any cute kids to brag about (because we all know thats what blogs are for). So here is what happened in the exciting life of JonAli in the month of January.

For those of you who don't know. Our anniversary is January 2nd. This year we were really debating what to do when I remembered that the castle near our house is a bed and breakfast. We decided to look into it and from what we saw it looked perfect. 10 minutes away from home but still a little bit secluded and something new and exciting. So we took a tour (which I suggest anyone do for fun) and it looked fabulous. That night we got online and booked our reservation. There is only one room that I had to stay in and it was the Kings Lodge. It was awesome! Very clean, cozy, and it had a pool table and jacuzzi. We had a great time at the Castle Creek Inn! They had treats and soda(yessss) available at all hours in the dining room. They also served a great breakfast in the morning. It started of with a grapefruit
and some delicious raspberry bread. Then we got french toast with sausage and cottage potatoes! Overall it was a pretty great way to spend on our anniversary.



While deciding what to do for our anniversary we knew that the Sugar Bowl landed on the same night as our anniversary! OH NO!!! Our solution, move our anniversary night to January 1st instead of the 2nd. I know what all of you are thinking "Shame on that dirty, no good Jon. You should put your wife first!". I know, I know but guess what it was my awesome wifes idea! Yup I married the perfect woman. So we got to stay at the b&b on the 1st and watch the game on the 2nd :)
The Game
So incase you didn't know this is a picture of Alabama head coach Nick Saban the "2008 coach of the year" shaking hands with the runner up for that award Kyle Whittingham (the real coach of the year).
I couldn't imagine a much better way for my Utes to go out in 2008. This was probably the biggest game in Utah football history and they showed up to play!

one other thing that happened in January
Utah 94 BYU 88