A day in the life of Jon

My day can mostly be described in one word, "Facepalm". What is a facepalm you ask? It's something I think I do much more frequently then most people. Here is a picture of a classic facepalm....

Why do I facepalm more than most people on a given day. Its pretty simple really, I am tech-support.

Here is a list of 5 typical calls that I have recently received. These have not been embellished in any way.

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > I CAN'T LOGON!
Me > What are you trying to logon to?
Caller > ANYTHING!
Me > Is there a specific program you are using (we use hundreds)
Caller > THE WHOLE SYSTEM!
Me > Is it Windows your trying to logon to?
Caller > I DONT KNOW!

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > It is raining on my desk.
Me > Excuse me?
Caller > IT IS RAINING ON MY DESK!
Me > Are you on a laptop outside?
Caller > NO! I am at my desk and water is coming from the ceiling.
Me > Uh, you are going to need to call engineering.
Caller > (Sarcastically) Well you are sure a lot of help!

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > I am not able to change my password?
Me > What error is it giving you?
Caller > Password must not contain word found in the dictionary, but I have a dictionary open right now and I don’t see this word.
Me > Is it possible there is a smaller word within the word you are using?
Caller > No, it is “courtne1”
Me > So the word “court” is in that password
Caller > (pause)…….Smartass


Trying to setup someones home VPN access
Me > What type of internet do you have?
Caller > Internet Explorer.
Me > Oh sorry, I meant what type like your ISP.
Caller > Modem
Me > What type of Modem is it?
Caller > Black
Me > (after a little chuckle) is it plugged into a phone cord or a coaxial cable? Like the kind you plug into your tv.
Caller > Its plugged into the wall

Me > How can I help you?
Caller > My email isn’t working.
Me > Ok what seems to be the problem with it?
Caller > I already said, my email isn’t working!
Me > Ok, so is it not sending email, receiving email, or is it not opening your mail?
Caller > Its not sending email. I really don’t have time for this.
Me > I am here to help you out, Does it say ‘connected’ at the lower right hand of the screen?
Caller > I don’t know, this isn’t my job! It’s yours, so fix it!
Me > That’s what I’m trying to do. I just need some information so I can find out what’s wrong, so I just need you to answer a couple questions.
Caller > No, that’s not what I get paid to do. I am an accountant, I’m not supposed to know how to use a computer!

A Puppy or 6 Years Old?

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized this the other day when I was sitting in my fort.

I haven't decided what I act like more, a puppy or a 6 year old. I decided to list out ways in which I act like both to decide which I am more like.

Ways I act like a 6 year old:
* My daily lunch consists of Easy Mac and a Snack Pack
* I still sit cross legged, even on my work chair. I then stand up to find that my legs are asleep so I look like Frankenstein when I walk
* I think looking like Frankenstein when I walk is cool
* My favorite food is cereal

Ways I act like a puppy:
* Someone at work was bouncing a ball and I immediately got very excited
* I saw a huge flock (like 113) geese outside and I really wanted to run and chase them
* I once ate dog food
* I forget things that you just barely told me
* Ali says that she is still training me

Well I can't decide which one I act more like, but I do have 2 epic Puppy videos for your enjoyment. 1st one is my new Prozac, I decided if I am ever sad that I will just watch it and I know it will cheer me up. The second is the puppy vs a hair brush, in which the hair brush delivers a knock out blow at the end...

Christmas decorations

So Ali did a great job getting our Christmas decorations up this year. Many of them she made. She would like to thank my mom for having me help her put up ornaments on the tree ever year because I dominate at ornament placing :)

Are you ever sick of hearing this?

kid: "I wanna play rockband!"

parent: "You need to help put up Christmas lights!"

kid: "But I wanna play!"

parent: "You can when you are done helping with the lights!"

For real this is awesome....

Underwear for Christmas

So earlier this week I posted a video about Happy Kids with the "Best_Christmas_Present_Ever!", now here is a video of quite possibly the "worst Christmas present ever." I hope that one day I will have a kid this awesome. Look how excited he is to get new underwear :)

Wii for Christmas

Last year for Christmas we were lucky enough to get a Nintendo Wii, I guess we weren't the only lucky ones.

And seriously, if you aren't strong enough to rip open the wrapping paper when you are 10, you don't deserve the gift. I would revoke this from my child until he built up enough muscle to unwrap it himself.


I seriously think Nintendo should use some of these for a commercial. Some of them are just brilliant reactions.

Watch out Ed Hardy!

It has been a long time since I designed my last t-shirt (Chicks Hate Me). But I think my new designs could give it a run for its money.

"Who will not wear the ribbon!?"

Dont forget about Aids. I gave my ribbon to my storm trooper action figures for an early Christmas gift since its getting cold out.